It is amazing. It works. I too am a reactionary person. When my husband talks to me I am almost always thinking of what he wants me to say in response. I realize now after working with you that I was NOT actively listening because I was trying to people please my husband with what he was expecting from talking with me rather than just listening and absorbing. It's wonderful. I have been to counseling with several different providers and never gotten this revelation.
I learned it the hard way and still have to remind myself at times, but a relationship with no healthy boundaries is a recipe for disaster, hurt, anger, misunderstanding and ultimately lack of trust.