It is amazing. It works. I too am a reactionary person. When my husband talks to me I am almost always thinking of what he wants me to say in response. I realize now after working with you that I was NOT actively listening because I was trying to people please my husband with what he was expecting from talking with me rather than just listening and absorbing. It's wonderful. I have been to counseling with several different providers and never gotten this revelation.
You may have 100 reasons to leave your marriage but I have one reason you should stay, at least until you understand what it was you were attracted you to him enough to handover full power and authority for your happiness.
Until you know this you will never be fully free or happy.
Does it sound a little harsh?
Probably not what you think.
Firstly, she is just as shocked as you.