It is amazing. It works. I too am a reactionary person. When my husband talks to me I am almost always thinking of what he wants me to say in response. I realize now after working with you that I was NOT actively listening because I was trying to people please my husband with what he was expecting from talking with me rather than just listening and absorbing. It's wonderful. I have been to counseling with several different providers and never gotten this revelation.
To fit in seems to be the desire most of us want and in our endeavour to fit in we give up who we really are at our core. Even the rebel souls amongst have a deep rooted desire to fit in, we go in search of like minded souls, whether we are punks, or fitness fanatics we search our our tribe, the validation that we aren’t alone, the connection of like minds.